Alec left today. It’s been rough. I know it shouldn’t be that hard because I still saw him today, but the idea of not seeing him for 6 months now is unbearable. Every time I think about it my heart breaks a little bit more. I think that maybe it’ll get easier when he tells me he’s safe or when I get busy or preoccupy myself, but the next 6 months is going to fucking kill me. At least he didn’t change his relationship status. Cause he wanted us to do that before he left (he wants us to do it at the same time) and since he didn’t do it, I didn’t do it. And that makes me feel better. Because that’s not what I want. It just doesn’t seem real. I’m waiting for him to turn around and show up at my door tomorrow and wrap me in his arms and say he’s kidding. But that’s not realistic. I just wish I had more time with him. But that’s not realistic either. I just love him so much and I can’t bear the thought of losing him because of college. Damn college.